I question myself. I contemplate my personal philosophy; will it ever be well enough considered to approach my self-imposed guidelines? I catch myself transgressing lines, straying for all of the right or wrong reasons. Call it growth, greed, survival, or simply progress along a line of ever changing circumstance and opinion. A learning process. No matter how far I go to acquire the wisdom to continue and do the right thing, is it possible for me to have the knowledge to sustain what may end up as a mythical agenda?
What I want. I want to be the artist of my own choice. Assuming I am human, post-modern, and alive, I want to effectively express myself and my vision through a literal toolbox of media. I recognize myself a digital artist, but exactly what that is cannot be adequately documented. I don’t want to say, well, I do art in this particular manner but my real work is in something else. I want to present what is important to me and for people to understand the gut meaning behind it. Those who take the time to see, to listen, will. If they don’t, so be it. I hope in that case that they find meaning in their own gut.
I possess consistency. I am persistent in the acquisition and communication of knowledge, of methods and ideas, this enables my changing habits. I learn even as I teach, my love for the subject inspires me to delve deeper into others insight and see what I didn’t see yesterday. My projects over the last few years have all dealt with personality, and the effect of society on the individual. I can give you the reasons and inspirations for both the subject matter and the medium in a five minute blurb, but upon reflection of the work should you consider my circumstances, or your own?
I work within myself. I take the criticism of others, digest it, swallowing only those pieces making sense and offering truth. Some I spit out like a bad taste. In the end, I make the judgment. If I wanted to work by imitation or under another’s direction this isn’t the path I would have chosen. I believe this independence, the will to create in my own fashion, to be the greatest gift I possess and the most important gift to I have to share.
At times people inspire me with their thoughts and desires. Sometimes they frighten me. Most times they bore me with their analytical pigeonholing of who we are, where we are placed, what we deserve. People need to spend more time in thought, carefully considering their actions and the resulting consequences. While through my art it’s not my job to judge or dictate to others, it is important for me to reflect and compare my own thoughts with differing opinions, and portray my conclusions in my work. Often I work with light, interactive, separated into electrical pulses and impulses, coarse and beautiful. Personalities absorbing, personalities adjusting, personalities rejecting and responding. Digital in essence, yet human as well; taking into account what programs us, motivates us. Myself, and in extension, us. Where there is one question, there are thousands. Just Google it, discover your lack of uniqueness. Art is repetition with an occasional new take on the same old story. The excitement of my media spurs me on and encourages me in that vision; even the impossibility of uniqueness becomes possible. I only try to lose myself in that vision, make it personal. Make it real.
Do I even want to be part of the art world? With all its boxing and categorizing? Yes. Do I want to be poked and prodded, in turn courageous and reluctant? Yes. Do I want to slog through the mud that sticks to so many, weighing their vision by necessity? Sometimes. Some days I want to get out and show them, conquer. Other days I want to roll into a ball and sleep. But mostly, I plow onwards. I love my media. I'm proud, confused, encouraged, discouraged, and enthusiastic about my work.
So this is today’s artist statement. It's not necessarily flattering. It's honest.
So I create.